The Land of Smiles?

The Thai islands are obviously not what they were 10-20-30 years ago (die-hard travellers seem to feel the need to hammer this home in every conversation) and more importantly neither are the people. They have adopted the attitude most locals in a tourist spot tend to have. They want one thing and one thing only. Your money.

We arrive at Phuket airport at midnight. We get a pre-paid taxi for 500Bhat (expensive for Thailand) to Patpong beach. On the way there the driver asks us what our plans are. We tell him we plan to get the ferry to Phi Phi tomorrow.

"The ferry is almost booked, you will be lucky to get a ticket now"
Graeme, new to SEA gets a little antsy (and to be honest so do I because I want to get the hell out of Phuket). We ask for more details. "It is high season now, and everything is full up. Good that you have a hotel booked."

The guy makes a call and the next minute we are driving towards a tourist office where his friend can sort us out with ferry tickets for the next day. As we pull up we see a lady unlock the doors of the office and turn on the lights. We approach the front door and I notice that she is actually a he. A beautifully manicured Lady boy. We walk inside, whilst H/She turns on the CD player. Celine Dion wines about not being able to live if living is without you.

When you've just arrived in Thailand and you're in a new place that is foreign and, face it, weird compared to home, this situation could be normal. You're worried you are not going to get a ticket and you think it is so nice of the taxi driver to help you out. Gee, what a nice guy. But it's not. This is not normal. Don't lose your head or your common sense. THINK ABOUT IT. It is 1am in the morning. You are sitting infront of a lady boy who has just unlocked the office just for YOU and h/she is trying to SELL YOU SOMETHING.

She starts with her pitch. "Ahh where you wanna go? Phi phi...beautifoool but many people wanna go there. High season, no felly tickeh (ferry ticket) now. But I have some felly tickeh I sell you"
My warning bells go off. I immediately want to get out of here before going deeper down this all too familiar path. Graeme wants to sit down and hear more.
I snap
"How much?"
" Ahhh for you vely goo prih (very good price) . You I make a discount of 20% it is only 900Bhat" H/She breaths and sings her words out.

The guide book says it is 200Bhat.

We both look stunned and she starts to explain how this is high season price and blah blah bla. I am pissed with the driver for bringing us here at 1am. Graeme is jet lagged. I am exhausted from my day in BKK sans sleep. I get the guy to take us to our hotel.

At the hotel they do not have a record of our deposit Graeme has paid. But thank god they have a room. It is now 1.30am. We both get upstairs and pass out exhausted. We have to get up early next morning to sort out this ticket rubbish and to get into the Land of Smiles. I mean scams.